Inhibitions
June 3rd, 2009
Oh man, I had such a weird and emotional day today.
I woke up feeling so damn lonely this morning and I just wasn’t really able to shake that feeling all day. I just kept thinking about my ex today and it was just incredibly annoying to me. I don’t think my loneliness was because I missed him, but more that whole missing that close, physical contact with somone you have bonded with kind of thing. I just wanted a really good hug and kiss from someone and I still do.
Plus, boss has been pissing me and co worker off lately. She’s trying to do more projects again, as if we didn’t have enough to do trying to keep up with all of the crap she gives us. It’s really easy for boss to say yes to things because she doesn’t actually do any of the work – we do.
So in order to distract myself, I had a glass of wine tonight and I got pretty tanked. It didn’t help that I didn’t eat dinner either, but oh well. It did relax me to a certain extent, but as always, I still pretty much remained in control of myself.
Gosh, I really do miss that feeling of recklessness from my younger days – those days of danger where I would willingly do really stupid things and wasn’t afraid of anything or any consequences. My life seems so boring in comparison right now. Yes, I know it is something that is in my own power to correct, but I am also older and do have more responsibilities, so it just seems more difficult to lose my inhibitions and go crazy like I used to.
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